Something about turning 25 was weird for me. Yes, I am young, and I love that I am still in my twenties, but this year felt different. I suddenly felt older this year. I was no longer in college or living under my parents roof. This year I was living for me. It was a strange concept to grasp at first, complete independence. I was an adult. I spent the entire day thinking about who I want to be moving forward and who I have pretended to be at times.
I was the over achiever. I cried when I got less than an A in school, but enough was enough. I wanted to let go of all of the old worries that dragged me down and begin looking forward, I had an epiphany that I could rewrite my story and who I am. I wanted to rewrite my story but still remain as authentic to myself as possible. I began to dig into the moments that bring me joy and the moments that don't. I learned how to decipher what caused anxiety in my life and what brought about happiness. It was a really interesting month of self-reflection and growth. Overall I began to realize how connected I am with this earth and the people around me. I wanted to create more meaning and portray emotion in my work. I was tired of trying to keep up with the Instagram + photography world trends.
This leads me to my biggest anxiety + unhappiness source - photography. Plain and simple the one thing I used to love I realized no longer brought creativity to my life. I felt drained and saddened by where I was in my business. I finally just let go. I deleted my old Instagram feed in order to better align with who I am. I wanted to only post images that made ME happy and not just what I thought would perform well.
I am still on this journey of self-discovery but I am feeling more confident and happy in the direction my life is heading. Much of my depression and anxiety has washed away when I looked at what the root cause was. I am not here to capture stiff and posed images of you... I am here to capture YOU - the details that make you you.
P.S I am impressed if you just read my entire blog post above. I never read blogs so props to you.